In all honesty there wasn't much of importance to write about these past two weeks - - well, that's not entirely true. I have recently started a home business (find out about it here...) and so I've been utterly engrossed in trying to get that off the ground. But! I'm extremely excited about that and excited to be telling you all about this past weekend's events :)
MJ and I attended a Forever.For Real workshop on Saturday and absolutely LOVED it! (thank you Cassie and Ryan for telling us about that!) It was awesome! Plus, when you attend you get a discount on your marriage license (which brings it down to a whopping $5! that's right people, just FIVE bucks and you can get hitched :P) It was an all-day event which left both of us absolutely e x h a u s t e d by the end of it but I think it was totally worth it.Here are a few things I took away from the event...
1. There were 3 keys they continually referenced at the end of each section: Decide, don't slide; Make it safe to connect; Do your part. (how proud are you that I remembered all three of those without even looking!? I know, super proud :P)
The one that really stuck with me was "Do your part" - - the point here was if you have an issue with your partner (say, they never pick up their dirty clothes) start doing your part (maybe you leave shoes all over the house - - guilty) and chances are your partner will notice and think, "hey, she/he's really making an effort here to keep the house picked up, I can do the same" and VOILA! the dirty clothes start magically disappearing around the house and reappearing in the laundry basket.
2. Speaker-Listener Technique - - I like to think I'm some great communicator (ladies, don't we all?? :P) and when arguments arise between MJ and I it's a lot easier to blame them on his lack of communication (he is MALE after all...) than to think maybe I'm the one not getting my message across quite right. However, listening to the section on the Speaker-Listener Technique I realized that sometimes I'm not the best speaker (I'm a rambler and tend to d r a g on and on) and I'm not necessarily always the greatest listener (I may not always be totally focused on what my partner's saying, AKA I'm thinking up my response).
3. Another thing that stood out and has actually been something that's come up with us time and time again is the terminology of a fight (or argument, or discussion, or talk, or screaming-match - - you know, whatever term you like to use). I tend to think our "encounters" are discussions, MJ thinks of them as fights (when they're really bad) or arguments any other time. Not only that but when I hit frustration and upset he's already at angry...so, looking at our "angermeter" really helped to see how differently each of us defines different levels of emotion.
4. Lastly (not really lastly, but the last thing I'll bother you readers with :)), the presenters discussed love styles. (similar to the love languages, which is wonderful, everyone should read or at least explore online - - not just couples, take the test and find out your love language(s), it is so incredibly helpful!) Would you believe that MJ and I are NOT the same, neither how we speak or how we need to be spoken to!? Not that this is all that surprising, most couples aren't. I'm a words girl...I need them, I can't live without them, they define who I am, my emotions, my ever, existing being... Words for him are at the bottom of the list, no joke. He needs touch, almost constantly (anything from simply brushing by each other to cuddling on the couch) and while I enjoy touch, I also very much enjoy my personal space - - especially in a "discussion" which is opposite for MJ. So it was interesting to see how each of us rank these styles differently and to also see how each of us rank what we think the other needs most/least.
Overall - - very successful weekend and I know we both are looking forward to being able to use some of the advice, techniques, and helpful tips we learned at the event.
Also, check out Ryan and Cassie's blog True Agape - - it's a wonderful look into the first year of marriage and staying true to the real meaning of love, commitment, responsibility, and personal growth within their union.
Always,
C Faith~
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